She just used a chaser for red wine.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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