Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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