there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
