im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I stole a fireplace last night.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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