Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
