would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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