70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
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