It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
