Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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