they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
