Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
