mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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