omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'm sobbing to NWA
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
