before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
