do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
