This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
she peed on how many people?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
