I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Floor bacon is actually really good
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
