you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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