the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Randomize
