im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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