you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
