He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
