am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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