I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
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