I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
