rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
