You really coming over, don't trick.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
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