Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
