Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
