Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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