you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
