Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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