You're completely useless in the revolution.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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