you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
