Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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