it was like eating out sand paper
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
As shirtless as possible
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
