True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
