i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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