what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
