Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
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