Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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