What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
