It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
