did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
