okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
