As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
