Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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