batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
