It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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