I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
