We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
