his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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