Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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