just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
