hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
so explain again why im purple
no
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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