I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
When are your genitals available?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
