Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Randomize
