i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
