i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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