redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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