i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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