you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
