We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
