eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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