I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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